Our first few days home...

We have had 3 days at home now. It has been nice but I am also a little stir crazy already!! I am in trouble. We need to be staying home a lot to bond and keep Mayleigh away from a lot of people so she understands that we are her family and that is going to be tough for me! I like to be out and about!!
When we got home we got those first smiles when Mayleigh was watching the boys. That happened so quickly after we got home that I think my expectations were too high. I assumed that since she opened up that fast after getting home that the next day she would be happy, smiling, walking and playing. But that didnt happen. :(
Has she made progress... Definitely, just not quite as fast as I had expected. She is now sitting in her high chair and every meal we are giving her different foods. Sometimes she wont touch any of it and then tonight she tried quite a few things. So she is for sure making progress. We started also giving her pedia sure in her bottle and we are hoping the calories will fatten her up a bit!
Mayleigh had a hard time in China being put down. The first day home was tough. She really screamed when we put her on the floor to play. But everyday she has gotten a little better at playing. She is very attached to Jeff and when she sees him she starts to whine and reach her arms out toward him. Its like all of a sudden she isnt happy on the floor anymore, she needs to be in Jeff's arms. Its a hard mix between pushing her a little and picking her up and cuddling her constantly. She still is not walking at all. Its hard to think of her as a 19 month old. She seems more like a 9 month old who sits really well but cant walk. I know there is a developmental delay from the orphanage but we are hoping to see big strides in the next month.
I was pretty bummed that Jeff was going back to work today...then he came down with pink eye Sunday afternoon. It has just gotten worse. He can barely open his eye and its really bugging him. He ended up not going to work today so it was nice to have another day as a family. Brennan and Chase had school cancelled too because of the weather so we had everyone home again for the day! That was nice. Unfortunately, Jeff's eye isnt getting better from the pink eye drops. We are wondering if its viral instead of bacterial.
Tonight I had a hair appt scheduled. I was going to cancel it at first but after the stressful trip and few days home, Jeff encouraged me to just go. My parents came over to help him get dinner for the kids and help out. It was honestly the best thing I had done! I needed a little break. So thankful for Jeff always encouraging me to take a break.

So thankful to have this guy!! He is pretty amazing!!! 

If I can be completely honest....I have struggled with the fact that Mayleigh really reaches and wants Jeff and she isnt doing the same for me. She doesnt cry when she is with me, but if I am holding her and she sees Jeff, she instantly cries and reaches for him. Honestly, when I went into this process I knew this could happen. I thought it would be great as long as she just bonded with at least one of us. But it has been way harder than I expected. It makes me so sad that she only wants Jeff. It makes me feel like I am doing something right for her to want me. Or I am not loving enough for her to want me. etc. I know those thoughts are not rational and I am trying to be realistic, but I am just being honest, its been hard!
The boys are doing pretty well. Maybe a little stir crazy after a few days of not doing much but they are good. They love making Mayleigh smile, and they usually are the ones to do it! I am proud of them for being so loving to her and being patient with the transitions we are all going through. I am pretty bummed because I have another cute video I wanted to put up but it doesnt work. I guess they are too long. I will try and record a short one so you can all experience her sweet giggle when it happens!! I have to share something Brennan said when I went back and watched a video tonight that was from Sunday. Brennan said, "She gets it, tonight has been pretty cool." It was so sweet. I had forgotten he said that until I went back and watched the video. It warmed my heart!!

She is actually smiling! Kinda looks like she is crying. She likes the balloons. 

My mom's first hugs with Mayleigh.

Kullen showing Mayleigh her panda bear they made for her at Build a Bear! 

We still see this sad, lost face all too often. :(

Happy at dinner tonight. (of course while I was gone!)

Love this silly boy who loves his sisters sunglasses!!