I guess fun summer in one sense, but VERY hard summer too. Mayleigh was sick for 23 days. Yes, I counted. It was a LONG 23 days. Poor thing. She was in so much pain. So was I. We all were. Having anyone in your house sick for that long just causes stress. So much stress. Then add on a move. It has not been an easy few months for me. But this too shall pass. And it did. Phew. We are on the other side of it. Well, the sickness at least.
So to go back and explain her 5th UTI. 5th UTI in 6 months. Poor girl. She is a trooper I tell you. Strong little girl! We thought we had this all figured out. Her stoma needed to be stitched up on one side to prevent the stool from getting in. But I guess that wasnt it. It for sure has something to do with when she is constipated. Severely constipated. Which mind you, happens in 12 hours or less. A nurse in Springfield finally talked to me about kids with these issues and made me feel better about beating myself up about her constipation. She said, by the time you sense it, she is severely constipated in just 6-12 hours. I try and remind myself of that all the time. It is easy to feel like its your fault when you are the care giver.
So for weeks we felt like there really wasn't anything we could do for her. The poor girl had poop coming through her urethra and she was so irritated and wouldn't let us wipe her. I could go on about the gory details of the poop/pee stuff but its really not pretty. Neither was getting sprayed EVERYWHERE by her poop/pee during a changing. But as many moms and dads out there know, you do things you never thought you would ever do for your kids. For instance when they told me they were going to teach me how to irrigate her stoma and clean some of the stool out. I drove to Springfield that day giving myself a pep talk about what I was about to do. I went to school to become a teacher.....NOT A NURSE! But an hour later I walked out of that office pretty proud of myself. I had just stuck a catheter down into her stoma and poured saline in it and drained out the stool. I DID! Not only did I feel good about doing it, but now we had a way of helping her when this happens again. I felt like I had so much power. I didn't have to survive everyday feeling like I couldnt help her. That was such a good feeling.
Unfortunatley the irrigation helps but not instantly. And because she passed so much stool through her urethra for so long, she was pretty irritated. It took a whole week or more for her to finally stop crying when she pees. Well, actually she still feels it even today because she tells me when she is going. But now she just winces for a second instead of falling to the ground shaking and screaming in pain.
But our spunky Mayleigh Wei is back. She is back to her happy, fun self. Well, she is 2 so I guess not ALWAYS fun. That girl is dramatic and can throw a serious temper tantrum! :) But we are so happy to see her smile again!
Through this last UTI, I made an appt to talk with her surgeon. We decided surgery had to be moved up. We couldnt go this long and risk having 2 or 3 more UTI's while we waited for Oct. surgery. I said I didnt want to move and do surgery this summer. So guess what...we are moving and 10 days later we are doing surgery. And I feel great about it. I am ready. I know I can do anything at this point. I just survived 23 days with a sick 2 year old and 3 other kids 6 and under all while showing our house. Surgery...no biggie!! ;)
The cool thing was the whole timing of the surgery. Our surgeon was booked until early Sept. We were schedule to pack our house up on July 28th and spend that week moving. That very same day I talked to the surgeon, we sold our house and they asked for a closing date that was 2 weeks earlier. It also just so happened that Dr. Levitt had just shortened and trip and would be able to get Mayleigh for surgery on July 28th. God has a way of working out the details.
I read a blog post tonight from a friend that we traveled to China with. I cant stop thinking about it. Adoption has been hard. Harder emotionally than I thought. Harder physically too with the UTI's that we were not expecting. (according to her orphanage Dr. she never had one???...find that hard to believe) When I read my dear friends post, I felt like that could have been my post. My heart sank for her. I get it. I know 100% how she feels. But in some ways, I felt so good reading it. Its normal to feel this way and to struggle through the emotions of adoption. It's hard. She said she never thought she would struggle with unconditional love. Me too. She said its hard to see her fun loving boy turn into a monster because he doesn't know where he fits in anymore. Me too. To feel helpless and lost most days just trying to get through. me too. She watched her temper get the best of her and knowing she needed to try harder the next day. Me too.
All of this felt good. Felt good to know that someone who I saw in China as such a wonderful, calm, easygoing parent...was struggling too. Dont get me wrong...I dont want their family to struggle. That is not what I am getting at. Maybe I just needed my feelings validated. Maybe I just needed someone who 100% feels the struggles that we are feeling here.
We have had such GREAT times... great times with Mayleigh and Jeff and I still feel whole heartedly that this was our path. Our life was meant to have Mayleigh in it. She makes me stronger everyday. She has taught me so much about myself. She will make my kids stronger. She has made our marriage stronger. Right now we feel tired and weak. But this too shall pass!
We love you Mayleigh Wei and thank God for bringing you to our family! You complete us!!
Our family wouldn't be our family without Mayleigh! Hard or not hard!!
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