Learning life with 4

It has been another busy week. The only word I can use to describe our house is CHAOS. We are still getting used to 4 little people in our house!! It seems as if the boys are arguing more between themselves and the jealousy is pretty hard for Kullen. That poor boy is making my heart hurt. He just isn't himself. I do have to spend so much more time with Mayleigh. Changing her diaper, feeding her (she is eating better when you spoon feed her) and making her feel comfortable in our home. I am doing my best to make sure Kullen gets the attention he needs and the attention he was used to, but he is still not himself. Honestly, it gives me a lot of guilt. :( I hate to see him so sad. The big boys seem to be adjusting pretty well. And I know it makes sense for Kullen to be having a harder time. I just hope he gets back to his old self soon. The biggest question Jeff always brought up when we talked about adopting wasnt the adoption part...it was having 4 kids. Being able to give them the time and attention they deserve. I know in the end they will all be fine and learning to share things and our time is a good thing for them. I know having a big family has many positive qualities about it, its just hard with the adjustment right now and it makes me feel so guilty. But we will make it and we are doing the best we can making sure each kiddo feels special in our family! This weekend I took the boys swimming and Jeff stayed home with Mayleigh and today Jeff took the boys to the Lego movie and I stayed home with M. We are working on doing better with having one on one time with each of the kids. That is tough because we also really like being all together too. Just trying to survive right now really! Getting to know M, taking care of 4 kids, and just getting back to a normal routine after all the traveling and family changes has left us pretty exhausted! I am excited to get out tonight with some of my best girlfriends for dinner and dessert. I know the break will be nice. Hoping Jeff can survive the evening alone! ;) He will do great....just his eagerness to have me go and get a break tells me he will do just fine!

Here are some pictures from the last week! Mayleigh is loving the vacuum. Unfortunately, now is everyone else...even though no one has cared about it for months!! ;) Funny how that works! :)

Mayleigh dressed in her Valentine's outfit! I really wanted to go to  Brennan's school party but I am not ready to leave Mayeigh at home with a sitter so she came too. She was quite a hit. :) Brennan was proud to have her there but at the same time I think he gets tired of everything being about her. But I was so glad I was able to be there for Brennan.

M seemed pretty excited to be sitting in a big girl chair with her biggest brother and all his friends!

Opening Valentine's cards! 

This selfie didnt turn out great but it's important for me to have this with Brennan!

The excitement of the school party wore this girl out. She was sound asleep as soon as we got to the car!

Typical girl! She has figured out how fun it is to carry around a purse!! :) 

She spends a lot of time in the laundry room by the lockers! LOVES to try everyones shoes on! Right now the snow boots are a favorite! :)

She worked until she got both of them on! Then she walks so proudly around the kitchen!

The boys enjoying Valentine's gifts from Gramma and Papa. Reusable stickers!  

We had the door open checking on the boys who were out playing in the snow. So I let M touch it. :)

That smile just never gets old and completely melts my heart!!

Our first trip to Nationwide Children's Hospital

Tuesday afternoon Mayleigh and I headed to Columbus for our first visit with her specialists. It would have been nice to have the whole family go but knowing it was going to be a long drive and we were only going to be there overnight one night, we decided it was best for Jeff to stay home with the boys. So off we went....alone. I was terrified about that long of a drive by myself. She doesnt hate her carseat but she certainly seems done after 15 or 20 min. So since I was driving Jeff's car and he doesnt have a DVD player like the van, I borrowed one from a friend hoping that would keep her occupied at least some of the trip. I also left at her naptime on Tuesday afternoon  and that for sure helped. All that worrying and she did great!! Rarely cried and she slept a lot!

Wed morning they had her scheduled for another kidney ultrasound, then a VCUG, and then we were going to meet with the urologist. He is the surgeon that will correct the chloaca malformation.
Ultrasound was fairly easy...I mean, Mayleigh cried but not because it hurt, just because she didnt like being messed with. But we made it through and we were on to the not so fun test. The next test was the VCUG which is a test that will show them if her urine was going back towards the kindeys, otherwise known as reflux. They explained to me that they were going to insert a catheter and then it would splice off and one would go towards the rectum and one to the bladder through the urethra. I ended up leaving the room. Don't know if that was the right thing to do. I dont know if it would have been better for me to sit there with Mayleigh but they gave me the option and I really didn't want to watch. She was going to scream bloody murder whether I was standing next to her or not! After way longer than they said it would take, they told me they had a lot of trouble and couldn't get the catheter into the urethra. Actually I believe he said they couldn't find it. ??? I am still confused. I am still learning all about her anatomy and how all these tests work. So after all that, they didn't get to do the reflux test because they couldn't get to her bladder. The poor girl was traumatized from having so many catheters stuck in her and she has been quite sore from it. They said she would be sore when she peed for the next few days. And I usually know when she is going, she stops and cries and then a few seconds later goes about her business. :(

We spent the next hour and a half with the urologist. They also bring in a social worker for families going through these surgeries. I was so pleased with the urologist. Super nice, easy to talk to and was very patient with my questions. Then of course after soaking all the info in, I came up with so many more on my drive home. We are getting that taken care of though. We were pleased to hear her kidneys looked "beautiful" he said. So I assumed that would indicate that she doesn't have the reflux. But I guess not. Dr. J just said that just means they are functioning properly and there has been no damage from the UTI's. Kids with these issues can have kidneys that don't function properly so we were so happy to hear that Mayleighs look great. After examining M he thought her sphincter looked well formed and looks normal. (well, without the hole) That is really great because in order for her to have bowel control, she needs those muscles. They were happy with the way that looked!! And we are too!!!! Obviously all the malformations can be fixed, but sometimes there is nothing you can do if there is no muscle control. So we are thrilled for things to look good as far as that goes.

The Dr. did explain that there was a large amount of "junk" and mucous in her rectum. So after I had mentioned that the colorectal surgeon had mentioned getting her stoma cleaned out, they thought this was needed after seeing her rectum. So when I thought we were heading home, we were actually making one more stop to see a stoma nurse who was going to teach me how to clean her out! Ha! I looked at Dr. J and said, "are you kidding, I did not become a nurse for a reason!" To clean her stoma out they had to put a catheter into her stoma to drain the rectum.  NO THANK YOU! The good news is after meeting with her, she got it cleaned out really well and didnt think there was any reason for us to have to do it. PHEW!! Mayleigh screamed through the whole thing, even though there is no feeling in her stoma so it didnt hurt. At that point, she was just done with people messing with her and pinning her down on a table!!

Cruising in the wagon to the next stop in the hospital.

As we were waiting for the stoma nurse, there was this sweet Chinese nurse at the desk. She was loving Mayleigh. Talking to her in Chinese, holding her hand, and just loving her. We talked about where Mayleigh was from and where she was from. It was really fun. She wanted to take a picture of her so bad for her daughters (but they arent allowed to take pics of patients) so I took one and texted it to her. She was really sweet. Mayleigh liked her and pretty much everyone else in the hospital. Waving as we were walking through the halls. Smiling at all the doctors. (before they messed with her!)

So this is what we have for the future as far as medical stuff. In the beginning of April we will head back for a few days to do some more testing. The two surgeons will go in together and scope Mayleigh (under anesthesia) to see where everything is located and to come up with a plan for the surgery. She also has to have an MRI to check for a tethered spinal cord. Kids with imperforate anus can also have a tethered spinal cord. It happens at the same time in development. We pray she does not but if she does, its another surgery to fix that. To be honest, I dont know a whole lot about it, we will cross that bridge if and when we need to! She has a few other tests but to be honest, not sure exactly what they are!

Then it looks like we will do the first surgery to reconstruct the anus and the vagina in May. I had heard the surgery is about 8 hours! YIKES!! :( Then I think we will be in the hospital for 5 days for recovery. Then 8 weeks at home to heal and in July we will go back for the LONG one. They will take down the colostomy and hook everything back up so she can poop normal. That one we are in the hospital for 2 full weeks and the 3rd week we will be at the Ronald McDonald House seeing doctors. The first week after the colostomy take down Mayleigh cant eat. Then the second week she can.

When I think of all this at one time, it is extremely overwhelming. So one step at a time. One visit and appt at a time. We can handle that. The good news is by going to Nationwide this past week, it gave me a sense of what this will be like and a picture in my mind of where we will be. The hospital is amazing. So kid friendly. I heard the rooms are amazing with huge tv's and video games. There is someone that comes around to do art projects with the kids and siblings daily, their are playgrounds on site, and bagels and books where the kids get free books. All of this makes it easier to think that it wont be so bad for the boys when they are down visiting. It is going to be tough juggling it all but we are so lucky to have a lot of friends and family ready to help. I also have a few old high school friends and an old diving friend that live in Columbus and have already reached out to let us know that they will be there to help too.  We truly have so much support, it is amazing!! The other great news is that my friend who I met through a FB group and I are trying to get our surgeries booked at the same time. They are totally willing to do that, which is so awesome of the hospital to try and accommodate that. The support with that will be awesome. For the times when are husbands have to be at home and we are there alone will really be helpful. We will have each other for support. I am really excited about that and hope our plan works out!

checking out the big fish tank!

Mayleigh and her new friend!

Heading to the car after a LONG day...poor thing was so done. That face brings me back to China. :(

One month

We have now had Mayleigh for one month! It's amazing to see where she is after a month. Actually just in 2 short weeks. I mean, you really can't count progress until we got home because we all know there wasnt much progress in China. She is an active 20 month old who is exploring everything! She is now walking a lot. The first few days she started, she was quite wobbly on her feet but the last day or two she really seems to be flying around like a pro!

What we know about Mayleigh so far:

-she loves to eat! Crazy, I know! After not eating anything for weeks, we now have to cut her off!
- she smiles ALL the time. :)
- she has quite a personality and loves when she has all the attention on her!
- she can throw a really good tantrum. throws herself on the ground and donkey kicks her feet. It's quite    impressive. (and ridiculous, sometimes)
- she loves her brothers.
- she has the best giggle.
-she likes her bed. She Has been sleeping through the night all week and doesn't have a problem going to sleep.
- she loves crayons.
- she plays well independently.
- she now only needs a towel to suck on when she sleeps. :)
- she likes water. She doesn't mind in the shower if her whole face goes under the water.
- she likes to look at books.
- she KIND OF likes her car seat. So far she does ok for the first 15 min. and then she seems over it. It helps when she has a towel to suck on.
- when she wants something, she will tell you!
-She feels comfortable in our home!


And here is what I know about having 4 kids. I'M EXHAUSTED!! :) But I really have nothing to complain about. Our trip to China was tough, there is no doubt about that, but since we have been home, Mayleigh has done great. I mean, she eats well, sleeps well, plays well, and is pretty much happy all the time! The transition could have been much harder. Its just been the constant business of dressing, feeding, keeping up the house, getting kids to school, constant diaper changes, and trying to give everyone enough attention that is wiping me out. Hopefully with time, I will get more adjusted to the business and it will feel more normal!  We have quickly figured out a pretty good routine though and that helps! I am so lucky how to have such a wonderful and helpful husband who is DAD from the second he walks in the door from work until the second the kids go to bed!

But 4 kids is a lot of kids! ;) And it's a lot of mouths to feed, and a lot of dishes to clean, and a lot of clothes to wash, and a lot of bodies to wash every night, and a lot of messes to clean up, and a lot of hearts that need attention and love.

 And I absolutely wouldn't change it for a second, not even the fact that we have 4 kids 6 (in a few weeks) and under.

Our family is complete.

Sorry for the quality..all of these were taken from my phone.

M loves to push the shopping cart! 

 I love dressing M everyday!! Girl clothes are pretty fun!

M got right in playing super heroes with the boys! 

M was napping and the boys were at school. I got a little quality time with Kullen...he has needed it since M came home! 

The boys have really been into indoor picnics for lunch. Anything to keep things fun when we are constantly stuck inside this winter!! 

B being such a good big brother! He was so proud!

Love that wrinkle nose face! Thanks for the cute outfit Uncle Chad and Aunt Laura!

Another snow day. We had our friends over for lunch and to play the new wii! That is a whole lot of boys at the table!! (Nora was at the bar!) 

We went to our church to play at the play area and to have lunch. M started to get curious about going in!

So proud of her! She was walking and comfortable to explore outside of our house! 

All smiles!

I have so many cute videos but for some reason they will not upload to the blog!!! SO FRUSTRATED!

Chase's 4th Birthday Celebrations...

It's hard to believe how fast time goes. My second born is already 4!! Honestly, his 3's were so bad, I am kind of excited for the 4's with him! He has seemed to have less meltdowns and crying issues already so I am excited about this year!! :)

Luckily we got out of the hospital with Mayleigh at 5:30 the evening before his special day. BUT we had not one single gift or really not even an idea for him. So that night after the kids went to bed, out Jeff heads to target to find something. Poor guy..things were just so crazy and here I thought I was organized because I did plan his party before I left for China. But I guess I should have thought about gifts before we left! ;)

We had a fun day with friends and no school. (another snow or "cold" day) That evening we headed out to Culvers. On the kids actual birthdays we let them pick the restaurant for dinner. Luckily my mom was still in town so that was fun having her come celebrate with us! This was Mayleigh's first meal out home!! She loved the grilled cheese and fries! She did great!

playing peek-a-boo!!

Chase is such a Daddy's boy!!

Brennan loves his new sister! Look at that face on M! 

my dessert boy enjoying EVERY LAST BITE of his icecream! :)

 Gramma with her first grandchild! They have such a special bond!

goof balls!!

Thanks Uncle Chad and Aunt Laura!! This boy LOVES Hulk!!

Because Brennan's birthday is a month after Chase's we got the boys a Wiiu as a joint gift. Unfortunately we hadnt had time to acutally go and get it since we were in the hospital and it was a last minute thought. So we showed the boys on the computer what they were getting! They were super excited!! :)Brennan has been asking for one for a long time!


Saturaday we had Chase's party with his friends at the museum. I knew with just getting home from China and all the adjustments we had, that I wanted the party anywhere BUT my house!! The museum was perfect!!

Love this!! Boys and their obsession with super heroes!!  :) 

Chase's buddies, Lola and Addy! :)

Loving his cake!! :)

Chase and his best buddy, Case!! Love these two cuties!

Brennan and Soren

brothers!!

These next set of pictures are of the amazing progress Mayleigh has made in 2 weeks home! She has never gotten out of our lap out in public. She does fine at home but that is where she feels safe. We were so proud of her that she was comfortable enough to play a little at the museum...with me VERY close by. She had to have her arm on me for awhile. Then she did get brave enough to let go but if I got too far away, she panicked! But this was huge!! 

AHHHH!!! She is so darn cute!!! :)

she loved ringing the fire bell!!

She even sat on the floor alone and played!

Wanted to play, but didnt want to let go!! 

She let go!! What a big girl!! 

love seeing her standing!!

playing with Cole!